Texas Calculatem and Poker Office Blog

 

#  MiasDaddy wrote at 8:11 AM :

Maybe you can teach him a few correct martial arts movements?
;-)

 

#  The Edge wrote at 8:31 AM :

You want stuff that works?

Here are a few underhand tactics that I like. They do require a bit of prior preparation and are therefore more suitable for ring fighting.

- The lergie defense: Get some nerds and chew them before the fight. When the match begins, spit them into your opponent's face. The mixture will be highly acidic and spoil his vision.

- The faecal defense: Shit your pants. Stick your hand down your pants and get a good handful of shit. Wipe it all over you. Your opponent won't want to touch you and will therefore forfeit the bout.

- The erection defense: If you're grappling with your opponent, start thinking about your favourite porn star. Assuming your opponent is homophobic, he'll get scared and do his best to get away from you, therefore forfeiting the match.

 

#  MiasDaddy wrote at 1:26 PM :

ha ha ha!!

What if he's not homophobic - you have just presented your opponent with a larger target?

 

#  The Edge wrote at 1:35 PM :

But you also have another weapon with which to strike your opponent.

 

#  BurnleyMik wrote at 7:46 PM :

Hey, Look at ythe monkey... He looks the happiest I have seen him in ages!! After the martial arts and then the Mariners stories I reckon he's dead happy to be involved in a little finance!!!!!

In fact he looks so happy I am going to do my best to make sure he gets a two-week holiday here!!

;o)

Nice work posting him mate!

UL with the QQ too.

ATB

BM

 

#  The Edge wrote at 8:30 PM :

I'm going to turn him into a master of the faecal defense, and he'll spoil your milk rotten when he returns to his true home!

 

#  burnleymik wrote at 10:09 PM :

LMAO.... NEVER!!!! He doesn't even want to come back!!

BM