Texas Calculatem and Poker Office Blog

I just wrote a long post that was not saved properly. How annoying.

Anyway, last week I lost for the first time at a live Poker game with my mates.

From Sunday I'm off to Mexico for two weeks.

Was looking at random links for the Acorn's blog, and noticed that the Lady Falcon blog has stopped. She didn't like the fact that Poker winnings come from weak players. That's all well and good, but lots of people derive their income from the weak. Just look at those sub-premium loan adverts on daytime TV. They prey on the stupid and weak. My professional income comes from people who are either stupid or have so much money that they don't care about what I take from them. But then again, I'm up against supposedly well trained professional derivatives traders, not US college kids investing their college funds at Party Poker.

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Rottie is campaigning against Goalpoker who, allegedly, refused to pay out to some tournament winners.

If you'd like to support her campaign, please click here to Digg the story. Or support them by visiting and contributing to this post.

I was discussing a few website ideas with a buddy, and mentioned that I was thinking of starting up a new forum dedicated to one of Britain's favourite hobbies - complaining!

As it turned out, complaining is so popular that my mate had already created a site about it. Here it is.

The forum that I created is at rants.blapper.com/. I haven't added anything to it yet.

Recommended Links

- goalpoker

I tried somewhere different for lunch today. Instead of going to MacDonalds, I went to the Hard Wok Cafe, near Liverpool Street Station. The Bee Dog said it was good, but to be honest my low expectations were fulfilled.

At The Bee Dog's recommendation, I had a Thai Red Curry with rice for main course. For starter I had some vegetable samosas. This cost £4.99.

The samosas were passable. The curry, however, was a bit poor. To be honest, it didn't taste like a Thai Red Curry to me. It seemed to have a tomato based sauce and was slightly sour. Thai Red Curry, atleast in my experience, is based on a coconut sauce. And will often contain combinations of eggplant, bamboo shoots and basil. However, I found vegetables in my curry. Just bits of chicken.

However, despite the confusing flavour, I wasn't that disappointed by the meal. This is London. And as a Londoner it is my privelege to pay high prices for low quality fare. Good times! After my unsatisfying experience, The Doc pointed out that he'd tried the Hard Wok Cafe as well, and had been unimpressed by their bland Chinese Roast Pork.

Having read over my curry review, I've realised that I'm not 100% sure of the correct spelling of a few words in this post. The grammar is probably wrong as well. That's made me think of the A-Level results that have been released today. And as with my meal, there were few surprises... Girls have achieved better results than boys (in all subjects but modern languages). Grades are higher overall. There are accusations of grade inflation.

Girls outperforming boys is great news. It will lead to more young hotties appearing in the workplace, instead of young, aggressive, under achieving, try-hard males.

Grade inflation is expected. What the critics never mention is that there are several different exam boards. ULEAC, MEI etc... I can't remember them all. What this means is that not all A-Levels are the same. An A-Level in Maths from one exam board could be much easier than one from another board. I remember helping out a friend from a different college with their Maths revision, and their past papers were much easier than mine. What this means is that teachers, if they want their students to succeed, will choose easier exam boards. And exam boards will need to make their papers easier if they want business.

Recommended Links

- Online Poker Casino
- Internet Poker Games
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- Poker Strategy

I played a live game of Poker at the Clapham Gay Bar. Did not use Texas Calculatem, and the game was short handed, making it hard to attain pot odds, and so I did not perform too well.

The problem was that one of the players was extremely loose and aggressive, and that I was getting few hands even worth seeing the flop with. Last time Mr Lag did not hit, and got cleaned out, but this time he was getting the cards. Normally, under such circumstances, I wait until I have a hand worth doing a check - all in with. But no such opportunity presented itself. I was probably also too distracted by the honey on Bullet Proof Monk that was showing on Channel 5. Anyway, I made a massive £1.50 profit from my £10 buy in.

Other than that, I wasted about 12 hours of my weekend playing Elder Scrolls IV Oblivion on my brother's xbox 360. It's an excellent RPG set in a massive world. However, the combat system is a bit crap and awkward on the controller.

On Saturday, Heather Bunny came to visit. I hadn't seen her in about 2 hours. We took her to The Sun in Clapham South, and then The Swan in Stockwell. I don't know whether she was impressed, but Little Yellow Moon Face was definitely pleased to see her.

In terms of freebies, I've just got an Orange Sim Card, a TDK CD holder with speakers, and a golf magazine.

This morning I've also just ordered 3 pairs of boxer shorts from redoute and a free Eastenders DVD. Total cost £0.00.

Recommended Links

- Information about Flowers

I need to kill some time. It's Friday evening and I'm in the office trying to make some cash. However, it's very quiet as everyone else in Europe is trying to get pissed.

If you're bored too, here are some links that I've used to alleviate my boredom, and which you may find amusing as well:

- Sky News interview with George Galloway
- Pictures of Cats

I feel a bit guilty today. French Chick is without a home tomorrow. If I'd been chivalrous I'd have offered to let her stay at my pad. However, I'm not sure if I want that, and don't know whether or not my brother would approve of me bringing a stray back to the flat.

Had a pretty busy weekend and failed to do enough worshipping.

Mad Josie visited from Friday to Sunday. She arrived on Friday evening and I attempted to cook a meatball recipe that The Rottie had recommended. Unfortunately, when keeping them warm in the oven, I set the heat too high and they were very dry. SMT SMT. I'll know better next time. Other than that the flavour was fine.

After dinner we headed off to the Clapham gay bar. The boys were very well behaved and we watched some UFC while practising arm bars on each other. After that we headed off to that skanky place called The Swan in Stockwell. Young Anthony got food poisoning from some uncooked sausages that he acquired from the free BBQ. He therefore had the shits the next day.
On Saturday I showed Mad Josie some online Poker and we did a couple of SNG's at Pacific Poker - home of the fish. She wasn't that impressed by my use of Texas Calculatem. And thought Poker Office 2 was cheating. In the evening we went to an Italian restaurant called Bucci, in Balham, for Elly's birthday. To be honest I thought the food was crap. My Penne Bucci had cold hard pasta, and was totally underwhelming. I rarely enjoy Italian food when I go out, prefering home cooked stuff. I've found that restaurants just serve overpriced, low quality food.

Juice made a brief appearance in the restaurant but I didn't get a chance to speak to him much. He was very drunk and kept learing at the waitresses.

After Bucci's we went to the Swan again. It being a double nighter, I was pretty fed up. Looking around me, I noticed how unappealing everyone else looked, and wondered why I bothered going to such a hole. Mad Josie, however, was having a great time dancing. And insisted that she'd be OK with the crazy hippo from the gay bar. Alas, she did not heed the warnings of blappage and t-bagging that would ensue if she stayed the night at the Clapham gay bar. Knowing that she'd survive alive, if not mentally unscathed, I decided to go home on my own. Got home at 3am and went to bed, only to be woken at 9am by the mad one asking me to pick her up. I couldn't be bothered and gave her directions. While she was walking back I decided to call the hungry hippo to see what had happened. Apparently, the whole bar had given the mad one a good blapping and t-bagging while she was asleep. Oh well. I made her have a shower when she finally got to my flat to clean of the skank.

In the evening I played tennis with my friend Bec Wec and watched Silent Witness. Bec Wec's flatmate, Miss H, made me some home made pizza for dinner. It was great. I'll have to give it a go some day.

The Steward’s Cup is one of the most fiercely contested sprint handicaps of the year, and the ideal candidate is usually a progressive type, who in many cases makes it to the top of the sprinting tree. If you’re looking for a different kind of bet, where you can bet against horses you think will not perform, as well as backing those you fancy, check out the spread betting markets from Sporting Index. New clients can also take advantage of a free cash offer:

Free £100 Cash for New Clients**

Open a Sporting Index account*, place ten sports bets (each with the potential to win and lose £20 or more) and you can claim £100 cash.**

*Credit and suitability checks, **terms and conditions apply. See site for further details about an account with Sporting Index. Sports spread betting involves a high level of risk and you can lose more than your original stake. It is not suitable for everyone so please ensure that you understand the risks involved and only bet with money you can afford to lose.

For full details of these offers, and apply for your Sporting Index account, click here

Stewards’ Cup, Glorious Goodwood

As always in this race, the draw can be crucial and although the winner has come down the stand side (low draw), the winner can often be found in the middle to far side of the course (high number). Look at the draw carefully when making your selection! A couple have caught our eye:
Dandy Nicholls trained last year’s winner and has a very good record here. His stable choice is likely to be Tax Free. Lightly raced so far in his career, he has been well supported in Group Two company of late, and has performed with great credit. He will relish the drop back into handicap company and should be there at the finish.

Borderlescott carried on from where he left off last season, winning on his reappearance at York, and then running a decent fourth in Ascot’s Wokingham Handicap. He has since been nosed off in a listed race in Ireland and is a tough front runner.

Firenze finished in front of Borderlescott as Ascot, and is also very progressive. Her sister Frizzante was placed in this race in 2003 before going on to win the Group One July Cup the following year. The family improves with age, and Firenze has a great opportunity with the assistance of Frankie Dettori in the saddle.

An outsider to watch is Out After Dark. He’s been rather out of form in four starts this season. That could be due to his trainer’s poor form in the early part of the year. With the yard now firing, last year’s Portland Handicap winner could be seen flying at the end with his familiar late surge.

Hopefully that’s given you something to think about. For all the latest prices and to apply for your Sporting Index account, click here

Sporting Index is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority.

The information contained herein is for your general information and use. In particular, it does not constitute any form of advice or recommendation by Sporting Index Ltd and is not intended to be relied upon by users in making (or refraining to make) any specific decisions.

The new Football League campaign gets underway this weekend and what better way to stay involved right through the season than to bet on the Season Points market. Sporting Index is, as always, offering a prediction on how many points all 72 Football League teams will end up with next May. Anyone looking for a shrewd bet before a ball has been kicked should take advantage of the free £200 per goal football bet on offer to all new Sporting Index clients** (details below). Below are some thoughts on the current spreads, to help you get started.

Long Haul

All eyes will be on the teams battling for play-off and promotion places in the Championship. Steve Bruce appears to be well positioned to lead the Blues back up at the first attempt, with few noticeable departures and money to spend following the sale of Heskey and Pennant. Sporting Index make Birmingham the favourites to head the table come the end of the season predicting a total of 76 to 78 points. However, the tough Geordie is under extreme pressure to deliver, and with the board watching his every move, punters may disagree and bet ‘low’ on this prediction.

The real focus will be on teams vying for the play-off positions and a 70-point total should see a side break into the top six this year. Both Sunderland and Crystal Palace have appointed former fan-favourites in Niall Quinn and Peter Taylor to guide them back into the big time. Their spread of 69.5 to 71.5 points for both should see them in the mix come May.

Wolves will also be popular with the punters with their spread set at 63.5 to 65.5 points. Having brought in the top-flight experience of Breen, Bothroyd and Clapham, Mick McCarthy will look to repeat his conquests of 2005 with Sunderland. At the opposite end of the table, there doesn’t seem to be much support for the three newly promoted clubs. Colchester have dithered in appointing a new manager, and have a prediction of 45.5 to 47.5 points. That suggests Geraint Williams will have a tough task of keeping The U's in the second tier of English football.

£200 Football Bet for New Clients**

Tempted to try your hand at spread betting? If so, Sporting Index is offering all new clients* a free football bet, to get the ball rolling:

Open a Sporting Index account*, place ten sports bets and claim a free £200 per goal bet on any live Premiership, Championship or League match. Each qualifying bet must be able to win or lose you £20.**

*Credit and suitability checks, **terms and conditions apply. See site for further details about an account with Sporting Index. Sports spread betting involves a high level of risk and you can lose more than your original stake. It is not suitable for everyone so please ensure that you understand the risks involved and only bet with money you can afford to lose.

For full details of these offers, and to open your Sporting Index account, click here

How Does the Season Points Market Work?

Let’s take the favourites Birmingham as an example. Sporting Index are predicting that Steve Bruce’s men will finish the season with 76 to 78 points. If you think they will finish on less than 76 points this season, bet ‘low’. Alternatively, if you think Brum will finish on more than 78 points, bet ‘high’. How much you win, or lose, depends on how right or wrong you are.

For example, the choice you have to make:

a) Will Birmingham get more than 78 points?
OR
b) Will Birmingham total less than 76 points?

Let’s say that you think St Andrews will be witnessing Premiership football next season and stake £10 per point on the outcome...

Let’s say you’re right and Forssell and co. fire the club to 85 points. You were betting on them to get more than 78 points, at £10 per point. You would therefore win (85 – 78) x £10 = 7 x £10 = £70.

However it could go the other way. Let’s say that Brum scrape into the play-offs and end the season with a total of 72 points. Because you bet “high” at 78 points, there is a shortfall of 6 points (78 minus 72). At a stake of £10 per point, this would result in a loss of (78 – 72) x £10 = 6 x £10 = £60.

For all the latest prices on this match, and to open your account, click here

Sporting Index is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. Please note that all prices are correct at the time of writing but are subject to change.

The information contained herein is for your general information and use. In particular, it does not constitute any form of advice or recommendation by Sporting Index Ltd and is not intended to be relied upon by users in making (or refraining to make) any specific decisions.

With the emphatic triumph of Old Trafford still fresh in the memory, England hop across the Pennines aiming to wrap up the series at Headingley. Be warned – the last time Pakistan lost to England by an innings (in 2001), they bounced back and won the next Test...

Anticipated overcast conditions will favour the swing and seam of Hoggard rather than man of the moment Monty. English spinners have taken only 2 wickets in the last 8 Test matches played at Headingley.

The home team are not without their batting problems and can’t rely on Bell and Cook to carry Pietersen and Trescothick this time. The pressure is on for Chris Read to prove himself as a long term solution at Number 7. His Test average is only around the 15 mark, but recent form (including 150 not out for England A against Pakistan last month) means Jones has had to hand over the gloves.

If you’re looking for an interesting addition to your normal punting, check out the cricket spread betting markets on offer from Sporting Index, where new clients can claim:

Free £100 Cash for New Clients**

Open a Sporting Index account* and place ten sports bets (each with the potential to win and lose £20), and you can claim a free £100 straight into your account**.

*Credit and suitability checks, **terms and conditions apply. See site for further details about an account with Sporting Index. Sports spread betting involves a high level of risk and you can lose more than your original stake. It is not suitable for everyone so please ensure that you understand the risks involved and only bet with money you can afford to lose.

For full details of these offers, and to open your account, click here

First Innings Runs

One of Sporting Index’s most popular markets is based on a prediction of how many runs a team will score in the first innings of a Test. This market is available on the morning of the match (as it is influenced by the toss) and Sporting Index is likely to set the spreads at:

England 1st Innings Runs: 380 to 395
Pakistan 1st Innings Runs: 355 to 370

To bet on First Innings Runs, you either “bet high” at the higher price if you think the team will score a lot, or “bet low” if you think that will be dismissed cheaply and won’t score many. How much you win (or lose) depends on how right (or wrong) you are!

For example, let’s take the England 1st Innings Runs. You have a choice to make:

a) Will England score more than 395 runs, OR
b) Will England score less than 380 runs?

Let’s say that you think the top order will really click and punish the Pakistani attack, so you stake £2 per run on the outcome...

Let’s say you’re right and England manage 450 in the first innings. You were betting on them to get more than 395 runs, at £2 per run. You would therefore win (450 – 395) x £2 = 55 x £2 = £110.00

However it could go the other way. Let’s say the Pakistani pacemen find plenty of swing and seam to skittle England for 360. Because you bet “high” at 395 runs, there is a shortfall of 35 runs (395 minus 360). At a stake of £2 per run, this would result in a loss of (395 – 360) x £2 = 35 x £2 = £70.00

For all the latest prices on this match, and to open your account, click here

Sporting Index is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority. Please note that all prices are correct at the time of writing but are subject to change.

The information contained herein is for your general information and use. In particular, it does not constitute any form of advice or recommendation by Sporting Index and is not intended to be relied upon by users in making (or refraining to make) any specific decisions.

I've been a bit too busy to contact Yuliya lately. And she seems to have taken offense at my lack of attention. Oh well.

You a condom and fucking the pederast. Brainless cattle. Such donkey as you
It is necessary to castrate publicly. You not the man, you bitch. You of me not
It is worthy, and I any more do not want even to see you. The vermin.
Ass.

Miasdad was after some Kylie filth last night. I couldn't find any nasty stuff, and could have done better had he asked for Texas Calculatem or the amazingly useful Poker Office. Kylie's a classy girl and doesn't do dirty stuff, so this is the best that I could find:




Is Kylie as good looking as the girls in Miasdad's call centre? Who knows. Here she is performing on TOTP:

God. I was in the office at 6.30am this morning, only to discover that no carnage has hit the financial markets overnight, and that I there have nothing to do.

August is likely to be an exceptionally dull month, but I'm going to miss the first two weeks of September as I'm off to Mexico. Not sure if I'd prefer a trip in August as it'll be so hot, but it isn't as if I'm going to be doing much in the office this month.